Monday, August 29, 2011

US and THEM

I knew within hours on my C-section that I wanted a vaginal birth for my next child.  In the next few weeks, I emailed VBAC friendly doctors, researched the VBAC laws in Arizona, joined ICAN, and did my best on recovering emotionally and physically from my daughters birth.
A couple months after my daughter was born, I was out with a couple friends, and I was crying talking about my birth experience and plans for a natural birth in the future.  My friend (of a friend) said "that's ridiculous.  The second one is way easier than the first.  Just schedule your c-section and get it over with."  That was her response after I poured my heart out.
What makes US different?  I feel the need to push a baby out of my vagina.  I want to hold my slippery, naked, cord still attached newborn.  I don't want an IV, an epidural, or pain medication.  I want to experience childbirth as natural as possible. (But still in a hospital)  I want the chance to stand, sit, squat, and push on all 4's.  And I'll fight for any women right to be able to do the same.
And then there's THEM.  The people who want to schedule their child's birthday.  (4 weeks before their estimated due date)  People who go to the hospital one centimeter dilated and want an epidural.  One's who don't consider VBAC.  Those who would rather see their child after they have been weighed, bathed, and bundled.
So, what is the difference?  I'm a c-section baby myself, so natural birth was not a part of my up-bringing.  My mom breastfed for a while, but I don't remember seeing anyone else breastfeeding while I was growing up.  Now I'm a huge breastfeeding fan.  We were a normal middle class family that ate fresh fruits and veggies along side of microwave dinners and tater tots.  Now I make my daughters food, we eat mostly organic (I still run to taco bell every once in a while)  and there's talks of raising chickens in our tiny back yard.  I don't own paper plates, we use cloth diapers, and we recycle.  I've only "turned green" since my daughter was born so I can't say that has everything to do with it.



Where does the separation begin?  I can't speak for THEM, but my thoughts changed after I felt robbed of a vaginal birth. After reading countless books, blogs and forums.  After watching The Business of Being Born, and attending local ICAN meeting with women who felt the same way.


So who's right?  US or THEM?  Thankfully, we both are.  We both want whats best for our children.  And for us.  We're just taking different routes to get there.  Mine just happens to be the "I prefer to let out my inner monkey and squat in a bush to give birth" kinda route.

3 comments:

  1. Here's what I've come to think about people like your friend-of-a-friend, who totally devalued your emotions. I think that society has done a really super job of teaching women not to question the mighty white coat. Society has taught us that a c-section (in which a woman's organs are removed so surgeons can access her uterus) is "no big deal."

    It's scary to want something different or feel something different from what society tells us! If we feel differently, we have to process difficult emotions AND risk being seen as a pot-stirrer. It's easier to silence others and go along with the flow.

    I believe it is ok to feel ok about one's own cesarean section. I do NOT think it's ok to deny other women the chance to express feelings of upset about it. I'm so sorry you experienced that. We CAN birth!

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  2. ditto to what she said.


    I feel like some women's c-sections just effect them differently then other peoples. I am the same as you, once I started soaking up the knowledge I couldnt just stop at birth, I wanted to improve all aspects of my childs life. Once you realize how amazing birth actually can be its hard to want anything else!

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  3. Your heartless friend of a friend is probably one of those that takes pampering seriously. I cannot believe how young adults expect to be pampered and pain free. Just blows my mind. I went through three childbirths with no meds, but back then (I'm making myself sound old) natural childbirth was important, doctors didn't rush, and the hospital stay (during labor) was not treated like a "move along quickly" thing.
    I love that you are focusing on organic foods for your (Ginny) child. I wrote a paper on genetically altered foods and literally got sick to my stomach. I will definitely be more cautious about what I buy and eat. And the sad thing is, genetically altered foods do not have to be labeled. Baby formula is one products that is genetically altered.
    I learn a lot from you Jesse just from being around you. After our last trip to AZ, I came home and bought two new trash cans. One for trash and one for recycling...LOL!!

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